| So I'm cashiering at work. Then this old foreign man randomly comes and tells me that I have pretty eyes. I say, "thanks," not believing him because I felt like he was trying to get me to give him his food for free. He didn't ask me though. He keeps staring at my eyes as I'm totaling his cost. I got disgusted because no one has ever told me I had nice eyes before. I freaking have brown chinky almond eyes. Who ever thinks that brown chinky eyes are pretty? Maybe he has yellow fever. I don't really remember what he looked like. Just that he was bald, foreign, and old. The more I think about what he looks like, he keeps manifesting into a beast. Quite sad. |
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| It felt so nostalgic watching the first episode of sailor moon. I nearly cried. I was really happy. Super. Now I'm addicted again. I used to be soooo obsessed with sailor moon, but then now I'm going back. :P I miss it. I'm sad because I never really collected the whole series for the manga. Apparently now they are hard to find. When I searched online, the price was ridiculous. Not even the normal price range for manga. It ranges from like $15-30 or something. NOT happy about that. I want the collect the series...especially now I have some dinero...some... |
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| I'M SO ANGRY. I FAILED MY MATH MIDTERM BECAUSE OF CARELESS MISTAKES! I'm such a failure. It's probably because I've been ignoring my duties in my faith. I just hate myself right now. That fail in math so does not represent how much I know in math. Only that I completely suck under pressure here. People ask me for help on math, and I help them. I get it. I don't have any problems only STUPID CARELESS MISTAKES! My automatic tendency to make careless mistakes should...just die. Either that, why am I even going to UCLA? Why am I even here?! WHYYYY!? I'm so dumb. It just doesn't make sense. I don't deserve to be here.
Sigh. I want to cry but because I'm dorming here with people who areannoying the heck out of me, I just can't. I have no privacy and I can't vent. That's why I came back, xanga. Because you allow me to vent to someone or something. JUST SHUT UP WORLD!!! Sorry...needed to put that for what's happening at the moment. Anyways, everyone here is smart. People can't really understand me because they say they are stupid or failing something and they pass their midterms and shit with B's and even A's.
I just hate today. Please let it be a nightmare. Why do I plead for that, knowing it's just obviously reality.
Bite me. Stab me. Do anything so that I just stop putting myself down and just forget how stupid I am. |
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| since i'm annoying when i complain and crap with all this endless amount of negativity, i'll do it here since i have a right to just spurt out crap. if you don't like it, don't read it kind of deal.
i hate myself. i'm always doing something wrong that makes everyone mad or disappointed. i'm useless. i need to find out what the heck i'm good for. otherwise...i'm just a freaking blob or amoeba with no personality, no talent, and no ability to help myself and others.
i'm just so mad at this point. |
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| I decided I needed to put some things here so i can look back and remember.
Before I left for UCLA, my mom and I made wontons from scratch together. It was the best and tastiest memory I could ever have. When I went to UCLA, I made many friends and became really comfortable there. It became home for me. Then I come back for the weekend for Rachel's 18th birthday party. I realize just how much I missed everyone. It was just too much. Now...I'm going to continue this weekend at home. I'm going to bed. |
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